HOLLYWOOD CHAINSAW HOOKERS
Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers feels exactly like Fred Olen Ray sat down to watch The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974) and then tried to think of a way to reconceive it as one of his bimbo films. The conceptual collusion is surely made evident in the two named headline names Gunnar Hansen, who played Leatherface in Texas Chain Saw, and Linnea Quigley, who was probably the most famous actress among the Scream Queens fad. (Scream Queen Michelle Bauer is also present behind the pseudonym of Michelle McLellan).
That Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers is intended as tongue-in-cheek is evident from the very outset where a title card announces: “The chainsaws used in this motion picture are real and dangerous. They are handled here by seasoned professionals. The makers of this motion picture advise strongly against anyone attempting to perform these stunts at home. Especially if you are naked and about to engage in strenuous sex. The first scene where Michelle Bauer takes a john (Jimmy Williams) back to her motel then starts covering things in plastic before getting out the chainsaw is hilarious. There is surely no greater exploitation image than that of Michelle Bauer standing fully frontal naked wielding a chainsaw as body parts and blood spurt up all over her. There are all manner of drolly sarcastic one-liners Bauer to john: “Who got up on the wrong side of the construction site this morning? The idea of a chainsaw cult that stretches all the way back to Ancient Egypt is just one of the films cheerful absurdities. And then there is the sacrificial ceremony where the girls bring out cans of motor oil and take communion, followed by a topless fire breather (for no other reason than just because) and an entranced Linnea Quigley then does the Dance of the Double Chainsaws. This comes amid lines like: In your hands, you hold the Chainsaw of the Gods use it wisely. Jay Richardsons deadpan cod-tough guy detective voiceovers, parodying Mickey Spillane prose, are hilarious.
The performers are generally reasonable. Gunnar Hansen, the original Leatherface himself, who appears on screen without his mask for only the second time, has an undeniable presence as the character listed as just The Stranger. Linnea Quigley, who was aged thirty when Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers came out, is looking too old to be playing the teenage runaway but acquits herself passably. There is not much of a plot to the show just a sequential series of scenes where the girls lure johns and carve them up with chainsaws, before detective Jay Richardsons is shoehorned into becoming their sacrifice. Nevertheless, Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers is one film where Fred Olen Ray gets his balance of sarcastic farce, bimbos and cheap gore effects perfectly in balance.
Fred Olen Ray has stated that Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers was one of his most popular films. The end credits announce: Coming Soon Student Chainsaw Nurses, which leaves one surprised that Olen Ray, given his penchant for multiply sequelising his own films, has never gotten around to making.
Fred Olen Rays other genre films include:- The Brain Leeches (1977), It Fell From the Sky/The Alien Dead (1979), Scalps (1983), Biohazard (1984), The Adventures of Taura: Prison Ship Star Slammer (1985), The Tomb (1985), The Phantom Empire (1986), Cyclone (1987), Beverly Hills Vamp (1988), Deep Space (1988), Warlords (1989), Alienator (1990), Bad Girls from Mars (1990), Spirits (1990), Haunting Fear (1991), Scream Queen Hot Tub Party (1991), Wizards of the Demon Sword (1991), Evil Toons (1992), Little Devils (1993), Dinosaur Island (1994), Mind Twister (1994), Possessed By the Night (1994), Attack of the 60 Foot Centerfolds (1995), Cyber Zone/Droid Gunner (1995), Invisible Mom (1995), Star Hunter (1995), Night Shade (1996), Passionate Revenge/Friend of the Family II/Hell Hath No Fury (1996), Hybrid (1997), Little Miss Magic/Kidwitch (1997), Billy Frankenstein (1998), Dear Santa/My Dad Santa (1998), Illicit Dreams 2 (1998), Invisible Dad (1998), Active Stealth (1999), Fugitive Mind (1999), Invisible Mom 2 (1999), The Kid with X-Ray Eyes (1999), Prophet (1999), Critical Mass (2000), Sideshow (2000), Kept (2001), Stranded (2001), Venomous (2001), Thirteen Erotic Ghosts (2002), Final Examination (2003), Bikini-a-Go-Go/Curse of the Erotic Tiki (2004), Genie in a String Bikini (2004), Haunting Desire (2004), Teenage Cavegirl (2004), Glass Trap (2005), Tomb of the Werewolf (2005), Bikini Girls from a Lost Planet (2006), Bikini Pirates (2006), Ghost in a Teeny Bikini (2006), Bewitched Housewives (2007), The Girl With Sex-Ray Eyes (2007), Nuclear Hurricane (2007), Super Ninja Bikini Babes (2007), Polar Opposites (2008), Solar Flare (2008), Tarzeena, Queen of Kong Island (2008), Voodoo Dollz (2008), Dire Wolf (2009), Silent Venom (2009), Bikini Frankenstein (2010), Bikini Jones and the Temple of Eros (2010), Housewives from Another World (2010), Turbulent Skies (2010), Twilight Vamps (2010), Lady Chatterlys Ghost (2011), Little Witches (2011), Rewind Time Machine (2011), Super Shark (2011), Dirty Blondes from Beyond (2012), Abner the Invisible Dog (2013) and After Midnight (2014).
Virgin Dance of the Double Chainsaws scene here:-