Transylmania is witless and utterly unfunny. When the opening scenes consist of a montage of scenes involving to wit:- two guys inserting large baggies of dope up their asses in order to smuggle a stash of weed through customs; a couple making out on the football field and jokes about premature ejaculation; sex with inflatable rubber dolls; gender confusion gags; and the hero (Oren Skroog) waggling his butt into a laptop webcam and then shutting his dick inside as he rapidly closes it when his parents walk in we get a good idea of where exactly the films focus is located. Transylmania feels in all respects exactly like a typical 1980s-era frat rat comedy a la Lemon Popsicle (1978), Porkys (1982) and their numerous copycats. Typically of this genre, the film is filled with fart humour, bodily excrescences jokes, gay jokes and sexual embarrassment jokes.
In terms of the horror comedy it aims to be, Transylmania feels like a remake of Young Frankenstein (1974) but conducted along the lines of Scary Movie (2000) or one of its ilk. It could easily be one of the inane films by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer Date Movie (2006), Epic Movie (2007), Meet the Spartans (2008), Disaster Movie (2008), Vampires Suck (2010), The Starving Games (2013) minus the manic movie parodies. Transylmania is a movie parody of sorts but is mostly relegated to poking fun at generic elements as opposed to quoting specific scenes. The most we get in the way of parody is a copy of the scene from Young Frankenstein where the horse whinnies every time Frau Bluchers name is mentioned but here it is a hunchbacked wagon driver who farts every time the name of the castle is mentioned. The vampire hunter (and his ancestors) have been named after Edward Van Sloan, the actor who played Van Helsing in the Bela Lugosi Dracula (1931). To their credit, the Hillenbrand Brothers did in fact travel to Romania as location and shot in a real castle there although, for all that a witless film like this needs authenticity, it is surely better off shooting on the cardboard sets of a Halloween haunted house.
The middle of the film is taken up by a series of tiresome multiple identity confusions between Oren Skroog dressed to go to a party as a vampire and his vampire ancestor risen from the coffin; between Jennifer Lyons who keeps swapping between nice girl and possessed by a witch whenever she opens the music box; and James DeBello who is only pretending to be a vampire hunter to pick up girls. There is much running around the castle and frenetic humour playing off everybody else thinking they are someone different. This kind of knockabout horror material felt tired when Abbott and Costello did it in the 1940s. There is also an ongoing gag where one of the girls (Natalie Garza) has her head severed and Patrick Casey smuggles her out by putting on a cape and resting the head at the front under the hood, only for them to encounter various guys trying to make out with her unaware that it is a guys body beneath. There are inane gags about peoples bumbling unwinding the threads holding a Frankenstein-ian patchwork corpse together and one of the stoners having to sew it back together, resulting in mass vomitings by all present. The mad scientist is naturally played by a dwarf (David J. Steinberg) who for measure says everything in a falsetto voice. There is also an incredibly old hat gag that was done back in the days of Danny Kaye with Oren Skroog and his ancestor meeting one another both dressed as a vampire and thinking they are looking in a mirror.
It seems required casting call that everybody present plays their role like morons. The most unintentionally telling scene is surely when the witch possessing Jennifer Lyons looks in a mirror and exclaims: Im trapped in the body of an idiot. One must say that in the scenes as his vampire look-alike, Oren Skroog makes for surely the worlds dopiest ever vampire. Some of the worst acting is that of James DeBello who plays exactly like they had cast a beer-swilling jock in the part and that he had no ability to play anything beyond that. The worst performance however is from Romanian actress Irena A. Hoffman who mugs horrendously in the role of Draguta.
(Winner in this sites Worst Films of 2009 list).